I scanned through my old posts tonight, hoping they’d spark a new idea, and I noticed that I only wrote two last June, instead of four or five. I wonder if there is a connection as to why I’m feeling stumped on this particular week.
As a blogger, we choose to put ourselves out there. When I’m feeling strong, when things are good, it’s a lot easier to write an honest post that still manages to conceal the private stuff that is too risky to share, especially when I’m aware of exes, co-workers, close friends, and people I know reading it.
People ask me how I do it. “Isn’t it tricky to promote your own blog to people - to new friends, including potential future mates?” The answer is, absolutely. It is tricky. You could say that I, or any writer or blogger, takes a chance each time she directs someone to a public journal of sorts that exposes her vulnerabilities, conflicts, and history. Isnt that the stuff that people should discover about you over time, if they (and you) want to?
Yes. But then there are the readers I don’t know. Who come here (and comment, or email me privately), who notice when I don’t post. Who thank me for putting their feelings in words; who thank me for giving them strength. Or even for entertaining them on a dreary Sunday. So each and every time I feel uninspired, or hesitant to share what is going on with me, I push myself anyway. Or I just write about mom, to escape writing about myself (thanks mom!).
So tonight, I got nothing. I’ll call it June gloom. I think it is a combination of my most recent break up sinking in, after all the distractions and flirtations have disappeared, my birthday and the inevitable self-evaluation it triggers, combined with a hectic month of work related events. It’s been one of those weeks where no matter how many times I tell myself that my life is good, and full, that I am fortunate, the words stay stuck in my head. They don’t seep inward and influence my emotions.
Or maybe it’s just that time of year.
What do you all think? Should bloggers be sharing, even when they are wary to, or have nothing to say?